Cameron announces plan to reduce flooding by forcing it to work in Poundland

i HaVe bin unEmplOyed four 14 yeaRs adn i WlD LUv a jOb iN £laNd

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

The Prime Minister David Cameron has announced a wide-ranging plan to reduce what he called the ‘scourge’ of flooding across the country by cutting its victims’ financial help and forcing them to work in Poundland for free.

People who have been made homeless or have had their property damaged by the flooding and severe weather conditions could also be expected to attend classes to encourage them to feel more worthless and deferential to their betters under Conservative plans to change the way payments are made to flooding victims.

Mr Cameron said the system of help for flood victims without homes, heating or electricity had gone “truly awry” and a “culture of entitlement” by flood victims had to be addressed if there was to be any improvement in the economy.

Mr Cameron’s speech is being seen as an attempt to reconnect with disgruntled Tory backbenchers who have accused him of allowing…

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